What is Somatic Therapy and how can it help me?
As a Licensed Social Worker, the modality I enjoy using most with my clients is somatic therapy, which focuses on the mind/body connection as a source of insight and healing. But what exactly does that mean, and why is it important?!
Well…our nervous system plays a fundamental role in generating and shaping every single one of our thoughts, emotions, sensations and behaviors. It also influences how we feel about ourselves, others and the world around us. AND our nervous system is subcortical, meaning it’s below our thinking brain. Ever try to tell yourself to “calm down, there’s nothing to worry about!” while continuing to experience a frenzy of anxiety, chest tightness and racing thoughts? That’s because we have to calm our nervous system through the language it understands- a somatic language.
We “speak” to our nervous system this way by engaging in practices that communicate safety through the body (instead of words) such as breathwork (long, slow exhales that slow down heart rate), touch and pressure (hand over heart or belly, self-hugging or weighted blankets), movement (dancing, shaking, exercise), temperature and sensory input and orienting using the senses. It is possible to bring healing to your system even if it’s been stuck in a chronic state of anxiety or shut down for a long time, we just have to understand why this is happening and what actually works.
There are three main states of our nervous system: Ventral Vagal, Sympathetic, and Dorsal Vagal. These are also known as your state of safety, stress or shutdown:
If you’re feeling present, connected, engaged and relaxed (this might be after a yoga class, watching a pet sleep, spending time with a safe friend, cooking) you’re in your state of safety.
If you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, angry…that’s your sympathetic system online (maybe this comes in during a rupture in a relationship, at work, watching the news, an experience of discrimination).
The state of shutdown is where we might feel depressed, numb and foggy.
Knowing where we are on our ladder is important for knowing which specific skills to use to move back up to safety. The more time we are able to spend in our state of safety, the more expansive, creative, connected, healthy lives we can live.
Credit to @fulllivingwellnesstherapy
Our state of safety is one where we are internally regulated (calm) and our states of stress or shutdown are states of dysregulation (or states of active self protection). The two reasons we become dysregulated are either because there is a real threat (if my house is on fire, I want to feel panic to motivate me to get out of there!) or a perceived threat. One of the predominant reasons for long-term suffering is really because of this perceived danger. We might have this really safe life now, we’re not living in the past (maybe in that abusive or emotionally neglectful home we grew up in) but our nervous system hasn’t caught up with this yet. So what it does beautifully to protect us is - it superimposes the past onto the present. I absolutely want to mention that there are many things that make us not safe in the world including experiences of poverty, the color of our skin, how we identify on the basis of gender and sexuality.
Let’s give an example of a perceived threat…say I grew up with caregivers who were very authoritative, and when I got a B on a test love was withheld from me or I got the message that this wasn’t good. My system then learns, “It’s not safe to be imperfect”. Now I might be in a job in my adult life, (where we know it is not possible to be perfect) and my supervisor sets up a meeting to talk about a project I’ve been working on and discuss some of the things that went well and not so well. My nervous system then looks to my internal database that contains all of my past experiences- “what info do we have on getting things wrong or confrontation by authority figures…?” And as I step towards this very safe experience with my kind, understanding boss, my threat detector brings me into a state of dysregulation and I can’t sleep the night before the meeting because I’m so worried about disappointing my boss and getting fired.
What’s happening there is that our nervous system is protecting us when we don’t need to be protected. There’s been trauma (an overwhelm of stimulation) that’s been stuck and stored in our system. Examples like these are why we might feel stuck and unable to move toward the purpose, relationships and full lives we want to live. Our lovely, beautiful systems are doing the best they can and using the coping strategies that kept us safe during childhood, they just don’t know we are now safe.
This work is also extremely healing for relationships, how we relate to ourselves and attach with others. Often, if our “home away from home” is our sympathetic system (we are quick to worry, anxiety) we experience more anxious attachments in our intimate relationships and may find ourselves overfunctioning or needing to urgently fix ruptures in relationships because they feel so scary. If our “home away from home” is more dorsal, we may find ourselves sincerely wanting to be in a close relationship but instead isolate and feel overwhelmed when a partner comes too close. The good news is that no matter how far from a secure relationship we may feel, it is innate in each and every one of us, no matter how broken we may feel. We just need the somatic skills to find our way back to a secure attachment (maybe for the first time!).
How to spend more time in our state of safety
So, how do we begin working to spend more time in our state of safety and connection? I’m all about giving my clients actionable tools. One way to start is by increasing our awareness of what’s going on in our systems and bringing in more regulating tools.
Let’s try a polyvagal check-in, which is something I do with my clients to begin a session:
First, take a few deep belly breaths to settle in, feel your feet, push the balls of your feet into the floor and then your heels and also feel your seat, feel your sits bones and the support of the surface underneath you. Then, if you’re comfortable you can close your eyes or have a soft downward gaze. Then, scan your body, I often bring in the imagery of a Xerox machine in, and start to get curious about what state of your nervous system you’re in. What’s the quality of your thoughts, are they racing/fast/worried about the future or past (sympathetic), slow and foggy (dorsal) or just right for the present circumstance (ventral). Then notice any sensations that might give you a clue you’re in sympathetic (elevated heartbeat, areas of tension or tightness, fidgety, too much energy), dorsal (numb, feeling far away, shut down, not enough energy) or ventral (feeling open, present calm). Then, pick a number from 1-10 of where you are in that state, for example if you’ve identified sympathetic energy, is it a 1 or 2 with very mild activation or closer to a 5 or 6 with more heightened levels of anxiety or anger. (Depending on where we are on our ladder, we implement different skills). After we’ve identified our state and the number of how deep into that state we are, we bring in a regulating resource. For this practice, we are going to practice 4,7,8 breathing (the longer, slower exhale turns on our parasympathetic nervous system). With the right hand on the heart and left hand on the belly, we breathe in through the nose while blowing the belly out like a balloon for 4, hold at the top for 7 and breathe out for 8 through pursed lips like we’re blowing out of a straw. Repeat this for 3 rounds. Then, rest and notice. Where am I on my ladder now? Did I make any microscopic shift? Maybe from a 4 sympathetic to a 3? If you notice any shift in your system, you have just successfully spoken to your nervous system!
Doing multiple checks-ins daily to begin can be helpful, and creating your own list of regulating resources to bring you closer to ventral. Some of these are short exercises that can be done anywhere, and others are longer practices we want to implement into our week as much as possible. This includes self-regulation (things we can do alone) and co-regulation (things we can do with others) to bring us more calm and implement these things more regularly into everyday life.
Examples of this include:
Connecting with others
Meditation and breathwork
Exercise that serves your body
Yoga
TV/movies that help you attune with safe characters
Dance
Journaling
Music
Singing
Baths
Art/creating
Being in nature
Spending time with animals/children
Here are a few more things I talk to my clients about right off the bat in our somatic work together:
Morning routine: This can include deep breathing exercises while still in bed, meditation of any length (I love apps like Insight Timer to begin), mindful eating or coffee drinking, and just trying to slow things down as much as possible instead of darting out of bed into the frenzy of the day.
Night routine: Reducing screen time and stimulation before bed. Reading, gentle yoga, and other soothing routines.
Movement: This does not have to be daily intense exercise! Anything that gets you moving. Walking, gentle yoga, dance classes…so important for stress reduction.
Breathwork: 4, 7, 8 breathing, box breathing (in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, out for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4) or simply being mindful of taking deep breaths into the belly all day.
Play: This is crucial to foster safety and connection. What are you doing for enjoyment rather than a practical purpose? Find your adult play style here.
So if you are stuck in a pattern of attracting relationships that don’t serve you, find yourself wanting to move towards greater purpose in your work, bigger community and an all-over life that feels aligned with the authentic you, this could be an awesome modality for you! In my work with clients I help them to create a map of their own nervous system and tailor specific skills to help their system become more resilient and spend more time in safety.
Here are some that I love if you’d like to learn more or begin practicing some skills!
This podcast: Sarah Baldwin is someone who I respect most highly in this space and she does an incredible job of explaining more about trauma resolution, attachment theory and how to step toward healthy love, family systems and how this impacts our nervous system, body-image and eating disorders and how to slow down and be present for our lives
Emma McAdam aka “Therapy in a Nutshell” has fantastic, palatable videos explaining more about the nervous system and specific tools to move into safety.
Self-compassion is a huge part of my work with clients, and I often have them practice some of these guided meditations.
Interested in working with Kristina? Connect with her at KFyrwald@RoomToBreatheChicago.Com.