Five books to guide you through pregnancy+ postpartum
When I was first pregnant, I felt unprepared for the mental and emotional shifts that accompanied my changing body. Few of my friends had gone through the experience, and the Internet always found ways to confirm my worries or provide new ones (of course). I wanted to learn about this experience that people have been going through for all of humankind and yet felt very separate from my reality. I was fortunate to find some books that connected me to a community of birthing parents and gave me the skills to connect my mind and body on this new adventure.
Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood and Trusting Yourself and Your Body by Erica Chidi Cohen
I think of Nurture as the holistic, positive, “nurturing” version of What To Expect. Cohen is a doula and nutritionist and offers ways to take care of your body and spirit throughout pregnancy and postpartum with recipes, yoga poses, alternative medicine practices, and journal prompts. It’s the first book I recommend to folks that ask for a pregnancy book recommendation, because each chapter got me excited about new ways to take care of myself. I recommend the Almond Goji Macaroons recipe!
Like A Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy by Angela Garbes
“How do we measure our own self-worth when our new self is barely recognizable? We cannot use the same values that applied to our lives before we were parents—being an ever-present friend or tireless worker, being stylish or the life of a party—when it is hard to sleep, find pants that fit, leave the house.”
Garbes validates the isolation and confusion that can arise in pregnancy, by exploring its history in the US and questioning the expectations of how pregnancy “should” be. She does this while infusing her own experience and sense of humor, and she left me feeling empowered to make sense of my own journey. There are a slew of motherhood memoirs out there, but Garbes reminds us why some parenting experiences are heard and others are overlooked.
Brink of Being: Talking About Miscarriage by Julia Bueno
Approximately one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, but the conversation often is pushed off to the side, as if talking about it is a bad omen. Bueno is a psychotherapist and she takes a gentle, informed approach to exploring the different reactions to and experiences of miscarriage, and how it is misunderstood and under-researched. I particularly appreciated how she talks about grieving a miscarriage, it is a valuable read if you have experienced pregnancy loss or are supporting a loved one.
Body Full Of Stars: Female Rage and My Passage Into Motherhood by Molly Caro May
Molly Caro May’s memoir focuses on her life after the birth of her daughter, when she experienced serious physical and mental health complications. She explores how our body and minds are uniquely linked during this life transition, and how society fails to support birthing parents. Caro May’s writing helped me to advocate for myself, and to accept myself when I wasn’t loving every minute of life with a newborn (if you are this person, bless). I share this passage from Body Full Of Stars because yes – let’s “imagine if the world was made up of people fluent in their own bodies” (and work to make it a reality!).
Transformed By Birth: Cultivating Openness, Resilience, and Strength for the Life-Changing Journey from Pregnancy to Parenthood by Britta Bushnell
I read this book after giving birth and it brought me comfort and new insight, which I think is a testament to how great it is! Rather than giving you more information and advice to absorb, Bushnell helps readers cultivate their own inner wisdom and resilience. She presents birth as a life experience that we must make meaning of and integrate into our identities, which of course, as a mental health practitioner, I love. Her reminders for parenting are simple yet profound -- the one I still carry with me is “nurture a kind inner voice.”
Pregnancy, birth, and early parenting can be beautiful. It can also be incredibly difficult. These books help readers to honor and accept both experiences and remind birthing parents that they are not alone. If you are navigating the challenges of pregnancy and postpartum, know that your body, mind, and spirit are deserving of care and support.
Hannah runs a support group for pregnant people & parents every other Tuesday. You can connect with Hannah at Hannah@RoomToBreatheChicago.Com.