I Was a Good Enough Human In February
I’ve been thinking about “good enough” for the last several days. Good enough sounds…. suspect. Depending on how you were raised and what messages feel strong to you about accomplishment, doing your best, or being all you can be, it can sound like an excuse, a softening of failure, or lowered standards.
Is it?
I’m not so sure. As therapists, we process with folx the “standards” that are set for them in society or communities that are proclaimed as healthy or expected but are really impossible and designed to exclude, reject, and shame a person. So, I don’t think it’s letting ourselves off the hook – I think it’s about centering humanness.
To me, Good enough is showing up. Showing up as yourself with your needs, and strengths, and flaws, and an open enough heart to be present, and awake enough to be involved, and compassionate enough to (try) practicing kindness, and with enough sense of responsibility to take accountability. Or just one of those things. Good enough means to do the thing enough to fulfill the essence of the thing while being human in all our messiness.
That’s a lot. That’s not lowering standards at all.
Today is February 28th, the last day in the month I was supposed to write my first blog post. At first the topic was Imposter Syndrome. Then it was procrastination and the lie about laziness (doesn’t exist), the should we beat ourselves up with, and so many more that had great starting sentences and then silence in my head.
February was passing, and I had scribbles but no post. I had to try something other than meeting a standard I had set that didn’t seem like it was working, that it was hard showing up as a human for. And then a very smart person said this to me: “This might be controversial, but I don’t think Writer’s Block exists. I think people get constipated trying to write what they think they should write about instead of the story that wants to be written.”
So this is the story of good enough and February.
February had lots of things happening in it beyond normal work and daily life. Our dog Walter had surgery, there were birthdays to celebrate, and normal appointments and seasonal tasks of adulthood.
Side note: My hope is that you have firsthand knowledge of the power of snuggling. (Animal, human, tiny human, blanket, or pillow). Puppy snuggles were a great way to keep him from licking his wounds and getting a dose of dopamine for myself.
And then there was some “hard”. You have hard in your life too, and they all feel a little different. They range in emotional space and energy required to address them. Some are all lower case (hard), maybe a comic sans hard, and some are more of a whispered hard. There’s proper noun Hard, standout HARD, the escalating and frightening HARD, or the knock you down full stop H.A.R.D. We all have various mixes of hard in our life. I had mix of hard in February.
And I showed up for it all as a good enough human willing to try. The surgery, birthdays, and adulting. The hards that were mine and the hards that were other people’s too.
Did I live my life this month? I did! ☺ I listened to friends (they listened to me too!), took care of animals and humans, tried new things, failed a few times, ate some healthy food and some deliciously NOT healthy cake. I dyed my hair purple and giggled the whole time. I put my face in the sun and moved my body. I hugged people and laughed. I said yes and no. I rested and took moments to wiggle through difficult moments and tasks. There was laughter, sighs, smiles, and naps. For a short month, it was a full life.
It was good enough. I was good enough. This blog post was good enough.
I wish for you many good enough moments.
Interested in working with Erica? Connect with her at drschweitzer@roomtobreathechicago.com